august: ins and outs, tbr lists and the season of returning to thy self

 hello, hello. i hope you are well. 

it seems like the year has been flying by, to be honest, it feels like i am hardly experiencing or living it. in an attempt to recall how this year has been so far, i could not do so successfully. in my pursuit to reach goals that do not align with who i am and who i want to be, in my pursuit to become something i am not, i ignored everything else that is, dare i say, much more important. funnily enough, my constant...grind, got me nowhere. haha. i like to believe that that is only the work of the universe pushing me onto the right path. the road i was meant to walk. hence, i think of the month that lies ahead with great comfort, knowing that i will live everyday in ways that align with who i am. in august, i return to myself. in august, i no longer run from the path that was meant for me. how exciting.

 think of this as my first attempt. i write this blog post quite shyly as it feels like showing a bleeding wound to the world. yes, to be absolutely dramatic. honesty about these kind of topics is new territory i am willing to explore. anyways, enough rambling. below are fun little lists i wanted to leave here as a record or digital diary/journal/proof of existence living. 

august ins and outs 

ins 

- WRITE MY NOVEL

- more blogging 

- create to create 

- early 2000s films 

- going outside every evening 

- coffee coffee coffee (i want to try different kinds of coffee) 

- crocheting 

- reading longer books 

- cinema visits 

- acceptance of my natural routine 

- living 

- learning 

- consistency 

- spontaneity 

outs 

- perfectionism 

- maladaptive daydreaming 

- indoorism...(i made this word up) 

- doomscrolling/ social media 

- other's perception 

- worrying over things that are out of my control 

- worrying in general 

august tbr list (to be read) 

- a little life by hanya yanagihara 

- convenience store by the sea by sonoko machida 

- any book from the booker prize longlist for 2026 

i wanted to read a little life, firstly because i am intrigued by what i heard surrounding this novel and also due to the length. i really want to try reading a longer book this month, something i have been intimidated by so far this year. 

i absolutely adore Japanese literature, ever since i read convenience store woman by sayaka murata. i loved it! the convenience store by the sea is the next novel i am waiting to devour. 

this year, i aimed to read all the booker prize long list novels before the prize giving, however i am still on the fence about that. as a writer, this excercise would be quite beneficial, yet i do not want the reading experience to not be fun. however, i am addicted to reading, hence this may or may not happen. we shall see! 

to august, dear reader! may this month treat us all well...or else. i intend to live everyday as deliberately as i can as to save the time that i have lost. wish me luck and let me know how you wish to live this month. to live. to do. to not run from roads set out just for us.

p.s welcome to my blog (: 

yours sincerely, 

elena.