september is the trial to my eternity

 hello, hello.

i still have not reached the goals i had set for myself at the beginning of 2026. i am passionate. i am extremely ambitious. some might claim that my focus is on point and yet here i am. writing about my numerous failed attempts since january this year and not a single step forward. and if you are in the same slow sinking boat, i promise it’s not because you are lazy. and no, it does not mean your passions are not your true calling. passion and hope can be poisonous for some; those may work for other people, but not for you and i. we need something a little more than the love for what we do.

there’s two ways to influence a crowd. action can be born from hope. however, did you ever notice the times when your body could run its quickest? do you remember in what scenario you could hold your breathe far longer than you thought you ever could? remember how easily you wrote a 50 page paper, just before the deadline at midnight? fear, dear. you acted your best out of fear.

september is the trial of my eternity.

if none of my goals could be reached solely from my passion for it, fear seems to be the next best thing. and i am starting with the mindset: september is the trial of my eternity. this is my last chance to prove that i can achieve the lifestyle i imagine for myself. scary, isn’t it? i am allowing september to dictate what the rest of my life will be, because if i do not psyche myself out, i will never be able to push past my limit.

you have not reached your goals as yet. that should terrify the crap out of you. you’ve tried multiple times and still have not taken a step forward…

so, in september, i am scaring myself into reaching my goals. the fear of being stuck or in the same place i am this time next year already terrifies me. the thought of having lived another august in the same way i did last, terrifies me. all that time passed and i was not desperate, obsessed enough to be able to be my best self in order to achieve my goals. to reach the goals i am destined to reach. it really is that serious…

if you are stuck in the same place as you were last year, don’t be too hard on yourself. yes, you tried. yes, it did not work out. but there is no point in beating yourself up. there is no such thing as failing if you tried. because trying means gaining experience and that is very valuable. you are not starting from scratch again. you are starting with the knowledge you gained. use it.

i am desperate enough to scare myself into achieving my dreams this september because apparently one day you do wake up and realise that this is not how you imagined life to be and you’re tired of it. i am desperate enough to scare myself into achieving my dreams this september…are you?

yours sincerely,

elena d. willow

on half eaten figs and why you never finish what you started

It’s August 2026. This year was the year of trying. And we did try, but somehow we’re still in the same place we started. The key word here is ‘tried’ because that does not necessarily mean finished. 

I started many projects this year, so many ideas I thought were going to be the thing that changes my life around. Perhaps it would have if I actually stayed consistent. If that sounds anything like your 2026, well, this is no longer the year of the horse, but the year of the half eaten figs. Cheer up! The good thing is that at least we did not let our figs rot. And 2026 is not over yet. I am no expert, but who is when it comes to life? Below are a few things I did notice as to why I never finished what I started and I hope they give you the clarity you needed. 

welcome to career girl collective

 

Tabs i keep open that have been fueling my brain and heart

 

1. Word of the day: https://www.dictionary.com/word-of-the-day

I tried so many ways to improve my vocabulary: reading and keeping a notebook with a list of all the words was one of the methods I explored. However, I never actually learnt anything. Slow and steady wins the race. Before starting work every morning, I open up words of the day and learn at least one word a day. That's 365 words in a year that I actually remember. 

a list of things that has been adding light to my life in august

hello, hello. i hope you are well. 

ungoverned by the rules of the algorithm, I had the courage to create this mediocre article about the things that i have been absolutely loving recently. i hope you find something here that you can add to your own list. 

august: ins and outs, tbr lists and the season of returning to thy self

 hello, hello. i hope you are well. 

it seems like the year has been flying by, to be honest, it feels like i am hardly experiencing or living it. in an attempt to recall how this year has been so far, i could not do so successfully. in my pursuit to reach goals that do not align with who i am and who i want to be, in my pursuit to become something i am not, i ignored everything else that is, dare i say, much more important. funnily enough, my constant...grind, got me nowhere. haha. i like to believe that that is only the work of the universe pushing me onto the right path. the road i was meant to walk. hence, i think of the month that lies ahead with great comfort, knowing that i will live everyday in ways that align with who i am. in august, i return to myself. in august, i no longer run from the path that was meant for me. how exciting.